3 Lessons Learned in Bali

Dear Reader,

I have to apologize for not writing anything in so long. It's not like I have a million readers, but for the loyal ones, I'm sorry! I have also been quiet on social media.

So, Bali. With a toddler. Two months. How is that experience? The short answer would be it's been tough, but I wouldn't change this experience for anything because there have also been moments that felt like a dream. As soon as we got on a motorbike, Kevin and I felt like we were back in our element and bringing our toddler with us!

Internally, getting rid of my anxiety wasn't easy until week four. I started feeling more adapted, relaxed, and happy in week five. In Bali, there have been breakthroughs, but not without breakdowns.

While trying to travel with a baby, I have been pushed to my limit. FINALLY, I have managed to let go of trying to control the things I can't control (ugh, it sounds so cliché, but internally, it felt like a strong realization). I've given up a lot of thought patterns and preconceived ideas about myself, about

maternity, about how I thought things should be, and instead, I am letting things be just as they are, me included. My hyper-analytical brain imploded and restarted. I have finally finished breaking a shell I was trapped in for the past few years. It began at the pandemic's beginning, was enhanced by pregnancy, then postpartum, and finished taking shape by the many hours spent looking after a baby. That's the thing about travel: you have to roll with the punches, and maternity has made me whatever is the opposite of "roll with the punches". Living with strict routines and regimes was exhausting, and I am happy to let loose in Bali. Was it Bali or just this moment in my life? I guess both. It was the quiet Bali, the breathtaking one that happens when no cameras are available, the one that chooses when and who to reveal Mount Agung to, the one that echoes music and prayers from a distant temple through the fog of the jungle. That side of Bali, the magical one, helped heal things that felt stuck inside me for years.

My creativity has been very present in my mind. When I have an idea and don't act upon it, it starts weighing me down. I was not present in my day-to-day, trying to make these ideas come to life, but it was all happening inside my head. Creativity has been knocking hard at my door, and it was too painful to open it, knowing I would not have time to be with her. Not acting upon those ideas leaves me restless. Sometimes, it even turns into a headache. It creeps up every night when it's dark and quiet and asks, when will you have time for me? And every night, I promise that it will be tomorrow.

Well, today is that "tomorrow".

I have always loved to write. My friends and family know I have loved reading and writing since childhood. At some point, our love affair was interrupted by fashion, work, social media, insecurities, and the usual. But on this trip, I have decided to go back to writing. I'm letting you know more about myself and getting to know each other as we live through our day-to-day.

At first, it felt strange; writing is a muscle that strengthens with practice and time. I was always scared of showing the vulnerability of making those initial mistakes that inevitably must be made to become professional. (Especially since I am writing in my second language!).

However, all of my ideas, whether a design, a script, a production, or a post, have always begun with reading and writing. And so, that's where I am right now. I can't make big promises, but after learning these lessons, I have learned that if you get stuck in your head for too long, life flies by in front of your eyes, and it’s better to stay present at the memorable moments that are fleeting.

So, my wish, hope, and commitment to myself is not to let those fly by anymore.